Risk Reduction
There is still a lot we don’t know about HIV and STI transmission in regards to the bodies of trans men. We’re going to talk about different levels of risk for HIV. No one is perfect and everyone deals with risk in their lives in different ways and for different reasons. In the next section we’re going to give you some info and tips to keep you in prime fucking condition.

No Risk Activities
Transmission happens when the HIV virus gets into your bloodstream from someone else’s blood, cum, vaginal fluids, menstrual blood or breast milk. This means that there’s NO risk of HIV transmission from things like coughs, sneezes, mosquito bites, toilet seats, swimming pools, water fountains, sharing eating utensils or casual contact.

Other no risk sexual activities include:

• Hugging/kissing
• Sensual massage
• Dry fucking (pressing your genitals against someone else through clothes, as long as no fluids contact the skin)
• Jerking yourself off (masturbation) is safe
• There are ways to lower your risk while having a hot time. Risk reduction means keeping yourself healthy so you can keep fucking, and keep enjoying it.

Safer Sex
Other than no-risk activities, there will always be some risk of HIV and STIs when you have sex. It’s important to think about what you want to do (or might want to do in the future) and get an idea of what the risks are before you make a decision in the heat of the moment.

Please check the back of the resource for more info on STIs you can get during sex.

Tips:

• Have a stash: Make sure you have a supply of the kind of safer sex materials you think you might want to use. Keep condoms, barriers (dental dams/plastic wrap), lube and gloves in an easily accessible place. Don’t just keep them at home, but think about what happens when you go out too.
• Be upfront: Inform a partner about what you will and won’t do sexually. This isn’t always an easy conversation to have, but it means that when you’re in the middle of things, you won’t have to stop the action.
• If you don’t fuck sober, fuck smart: Remember, for some guys, when they are drunk and/or high it can be harder to make clear decisions and stick to them.
• Take care of the goods: Remind yourself that you need to care of your body as well as the body of the person (or people) you’re planning on hooking up with.   Regular STI testing is an important component of good sexual health.  You should also get an HIV test as part of your routine health care. 

Sometimes We Don't Have Safer Sex
Most queer or gay guys play safe most of the time, but it is not uncommon for some guys to have unsafe sex.  For some it’s rare or on occasion.  For others it’s more frequent.  trans men are no exception.  Unsafe sex can happen for lots of reasons. Sometimes it’s just accidental or we are caught up in the moment. Sometimes we are drunk or high and make different choices from when we’re sober. Other times we are really upset and don’t really give a shit or are really happy and feel invincible. In the needs assessment we did we found trans men face some particular barriers to having safer sex. Here are some of them:

Internalized Transphobia: Feeling Lucky to Get Sex

“I think many (trans)guys go through what I did, which was that self-deprecating, 'wow, you’ll sleep with me. Whatever you want to do is fine'”

Sometimes we feel we're lucky if other guys want to sleep with us and we get validation as guys and as gay men. There is a focus in gay communities on flesh cocks and the bodies of non-trans men. This can make us have a low sense of self-esteem and self-worth if we don’t see ourselves represented and frequently we feel like we don’t deserve to be thought of as hot and sexy. If you are horny and want to get laid it’s easy to take what you can get. This sometimes means we have sex in a way that might be risky, let people do what they want so they won’t reject us or we don’t feel confident enough to say stop or suggest safer sex.

Fighting these feelings is really difficult and usually takes more then just saying, “I deserve this attention” or “I’m worth fucking.” There are no easy answers. It might help to remember that even in gay communities of non-trans men there is a lot of variation, from cock size and weight, to hair distribution and height. Non-trans gay men also deal with a lot of these feelings of low self-esteem.

Communication Problems: No Words for Our Body Parts

“I think it’s harder to negotiate condom use when you have trouble talking about your body”

Some trans men have a really hard time talking about our bodies or genitals. We might want to have sex in certain ways but don’t have the words to ask for it or know how to communicate this to our partners. If there is a problem acknowledging our genitals it can be really hard to look at or touch them to protect ourselves and our partners.

Safer Sex Is Seen As Boring Sex

“At some point I was just like…it like ruined the moment. Because it was exciting and fun and I was having fun and then you have to start talking about it and have to argue about it and have to be rational and go back to the real world or whatever. And you know, sometimes talking just ruins things”

Safer sex requires some communication to ask for what we want and that can sometimes seem like a mood killer. It’s not always hot to stop in the middle of everything to have a conversation about what we will and won’t do and about what barriers we’re going to use. Even if when we are clear at the beginning of the hook up about this, in the heat of the moment we sometimes feel pressured or unable to assert what we already decided. This is a difficult situation and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. If you don’t want to stop or use barriers there are still things you can do and say that can help reduce your risk like, “let’s jerk each other off” or “shoot your load on my chest”

Feeling Safe: Not Recognizing Our Risks

“I definitely will forgo safer sex with other [trans men] whether I know them or not”

There is the assumption that trans men are low risk for HIV and STI transmission. It follows then, that trans men who are fucking other trans men might think that we are low risk. This might be true, depending on the sex we are having but it is not automatically true. Risk has less to do with identity and more to do with whether there is fluid exchange.

Making Safer Sex Easy and Fun

• Pillow Talk: Have the safer sex conversations during foreplay and the earlier stages of excitement, when you and your partner(s) will both be thinking clearer and able to make decisions. Fondling and rubbing while discussing safer sex can serve as a reminder that safer doesn’t make it any less hot.  Be clear that you want safer sex.
• Put safer sex on the table: Keep safer sex supplies close to where you’ll be fucking and they will be visible to you and your partner(s).  Some guys do this as a way of avoiding having to actual talk about safer sex.  If you put the stuff out in the open, your partner will get the message that you expect safer sex.  If you do talk about it, having it out in the open can be an opening to raise the issue. The more comfortable you are with bringing up safer sex practices, the more likely you’ll be able to communicate confidently about how you like to fuck.
• Sexy, dirty and safe: Make safer sex appealing to you and your partner(s) by keeping it fun. Ask your partner to do three dirty things that involve safer sex. Experiment with new things and make safer fucking exciting. There’s nothing better than being able to expand your sexual horizons while reducing the risks at the same time.
• Beyond rubbers: Make condoms a sexy and enjoyable part of sex for both yourself and your partner(s). Try putting on a condom with your mouth or ordering your partner to do it. Be careful with teeth, as not to tear or puncture the condom. Condoms come in all varieties of flavored, textured, colored and otherwise ‘upgraded’ forms – they’re not your everyday rubbers anymore.
• Staying hard: Know that some guys have difficulty using condoms.  It is not unusual for a guy to lose his erection when he puts on a condom.  This can create performance anxiety and embarrassment, and can lead some guys to have unsafe sex rather than risk losing their erection or not being able to perform.  If your partner’s dick goes softer with the condom, let him know that’s no problem for you.  Make light of the situation and use it as an opportunity to do more of what got him hard in the first place.  Tell him to keep the condom on and you’ll play together to get him hard enough to fuck you. 
• Staying strong: Some guys feel that condoms are a barrier to pleasure and intimacy. Some guys like to cum inside their partners or have their partners cum inside them.  Be prepared to assert your desire for safer sex if you have a partner who is pushing the boundaries and wants to fuck you without a condom. Think of other ways to create intimacy, closeness, and pleasure that don’t require you to drop the condoms.